Church

I grew up in the church as a child. Ever since I was a little girl I can remember getting up every Sunday morning, getting dressed up and heading out to church. As I got older I began to feel like church and Christianity was shoved down my throat. So, after I got married and moved to Alaska, I was kind of slacking on finding a church up here. I felt that I had to find Jesus and God on and own and I believe that I finally have.

In the time that I've been out of the church, I've realized how different my life is and how I was really naive to think my parents were shoving Christianity and church down my throat.  Not many people know this, but I struggle with anxiety. And, honestly, I believe that has a lot to do with my not-so-good relationship with the Lord. It's caused me to worry about things I never worried about when I was actively involved in Church. I am sure this has to do with growing up, but, personally, it also has a lot to do with God/Jesus and not being the Christian I was raised to be. I cannot explain it and well, it would seem like I was crazy if I tried to because words just can't be found to describe how I know. My life was just so much more positive and hopeful when I had a relationship with God and Jesus. 

I saw a quote the other day I spoke to me and made me open my eyes even more: Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.

To put it mildly, my anxiety has a lot to do with various fears that I cannot control; things I should never be worrying about (i.e. death, sickness, etc). I don't want to go into too much detail right now because it would make this post extremely long, but these anxieties hinder my life in ways nobody can imagine and I'm tired of living that way. Ultimately these are things I should leave God in control of and honestly, I do not do that. I've tried counseling, twice, which seems to not be helping much. So, I'm seeking God and Jesus, like I probably should have been all along. It all makes me realize I need a better, strong relationship with the Lord. So, I'm going to start changing my ways and living the Christian life, that I deep down, know to be true; serving the Living God.  I'm going to feed my "faith" and make it stronger. In doing so, I hope to bring myself and my husband (and other people as well) to know God better, as well as Jesus.

Now, Eric and I have visited a few churches and nothing's really stood out to me. But, on August 22, my friend Brittany and I are going to be visiting my friend Laura's church. I think I'm going to leave Eric at home for this one and get a feel of the church for myself. If I find that I like it, Eric and I will visit together the next Sunday. 

xoxo,

Megan